finally done packing. :)

My goodness life has been crazy lately. I've been working diligently to get everything packed up and ready to go. I feel like life is blowing right by me cause I'm always so busy i dont have time for anything. :( it's exhausting! I finally got everything packed today though. Sister Allen took the girls for a few hours for me while I got the rest the boxes taped up and ready for tomorrow. I got to see some of my family before I leave tomorrow too so that was nice. I know I havnt gotten to see everyone though and I'm worried some people are going to be mad at me for it. But I can't help it...I tried.

The girls are doing good. There starting to sleep a little longer now which I'm loving because I get to sleep longer. But like everyone, some nights are better than others. I guess it just depends how much I feed them. I tried experimenting with it and they do actually sleep longer so that works for me :)

I can't wait to get down to Texas! I'm so excited! This is all new for me and plus I miss Trent like crazy so that'll be great to have the family together again. :) I'm just not looking forward to the long drive and packing everything up. blahh but oh well. Trent got our apartment yesterday so I'm excited to see what it looks like too. I know it's a small apartment so it's not anything exciting but it is to me...it's my new home now. My mom on the other hand is really sad to see me go and I don't blame her at all. But it's just really hard on me cause she's guilt tripping me saying how im taking her grand kids away from her. I really don't have a choice and she knows that but it hurts me that she's not more supportive of me moving to be with my family. She doesn't want to be around me and doesn't know if she's gonna say goodbye to me tomorrow. If i know my mom i doubt she'll miss the chance to say goodbye to me but she's gonna cry her eyes out. I promised her i'll send pictures all the time and I'll be back again in June for my cousins wedding but she doesn't seem to believe me or says thats not good enough. Well, sorry that's the best I can do for right now. :/ I'm going to miss her too. She's my mom and I love her. I just really hope she'll be okay without me.

Anyways, I need to get going to go pick up the girls. So until next time....

Already a month old..

Can you believe it's already been a month since the twins were born? I can't. Geez. There getting so big already, and finally fitting into all their clothes. haha. There becoming a lot more vocal too...well, i call it vocal. It's more like little cooing noises and grunts but i think its adorable. They both, especially Alyssa, snort whenever they get excited or mad. It's so funny. they sound like little pigs. And Alyssa does this long one where she sounds like a horse. I love it! Shes getting to be quite the big girl. last doctors apt she was exactly 8 pounds. haha she has such a big belly and eats like theres no tomorrow. Savannah on the other hand is a bit smaller but she's been eating more lately so shes starting to catch up to her sister. She has a ways to go though haha. As of yesterday i started dressing them in newborn clothes instead of preemie onesies. They finally fit! I was thrilled. I have all these adorable outfits i recieved from my baby shower and now i can finally use them. :) There looking more and more like daddy everyday. It's so adorable but at the same time looking at them makes me miss daddy.

So Trent finally got his orders, I don't remember if i mentioned that or not. Were moving to Fort Hood, Texas. I've never been to Texas before, so this will be a new experience for me. I'm so excited to be getting out of Missouri finally and be with my own family. I miss Trent so much and it's so hard to be away from him and raising the girls. Granted my mom is here helping me but it's just not the same. I miss my husband. He's adjusting to being on a new base. I think he likes it for the most part but he has in-processing for the next few days and I know it's boring for him to sit through classroom lectures all day. That would get really tedious and annoying so i understand where his frustration comes from. Him and I both can't wait til he gets information about housing and everything so he can finally bring me and the girls out. I can't wait to get out there. I know he misses his girls as much as I miss him.

Well, that's really all that's going on right now. Alyssa is laying next to me snorting in frustration because she's hungry and I'm still blogging...so I guess that's my cue to go. Ttfn! :)

So this past week has been pretty chaotic. Trent quit Rangers because we were worried about me having post partum depression...which i think i might of had but since he quit and we've been talking about getting to be together again my spirit seems to have lifted a little bit and Trent feels like it was the right decision to quit. Of course I still feel guilty about it cause I know he quit because of me but he said he doubted he would of made it anyway. Now he's just waiting to get his orders and see where he gets sent and where our new home will be :) I can't wait to be back with him and be together as a family. I miss him so much.

In the mean time i've been packing up all my stuff and getting it ready to go. My room is a complete disaster and it's starting to annoy me cause i can't stand all the clutter and crap everywhere. But at the same time seeing all the boxes packed up and ready to go makes me feel better because i can see how much i've accomplished. :)

Trent got his orders today, were going to Fort Hood, Texas. I'm excited to start this new part of my life with my new family. I've never really been to Texas before so this will be pretty exciting for me. It's about 60 miles north of Austin. but at the same time, i'm kind of nervous to be going there because of the massacre that just happened there not too long ago. It's really stressful on me though trying to get everything together and ready to go all while taking care of the girls. Mom is a big help and watches them during the day while i pack and then sleep. The girls are only 3 weeks old and its making me really nervous having to travel across the country with them at such a young age. I wish Trent was here to help me with the moving and packing process but ah well what can ya do. I just can't wait to get down there and be with him.

The girls are continuing to grow by the minute. There so big. haha I mean that in the nicest way possible. There just becoming little chunkers. I still think they look so much like daddy. Im wondering if as they get bigger there going to start looking like me. Who knows. :)

Anyways thats about all i feel like typing for right now. Time to put the little ones to bed. Night all.

funny pictures...

haha really?



so i was bored and kinda blah so i decided to post funny pictures. I got a few laughs out of them. :) better day today. Jenny came over so it was nice to have human interaction besides my mom. Anyways, I'm exhausted and the girls are sleeping so i'm off to bed.

Stressed

so im in a horrible mood today.

It's probably a mix of things. I don't think I've ever been this sleep deprived in my life. Granted, i didn't expect anything different with twins but i seriously feel like I'm going to collapse. All the girls do is cry and I know their only 2 weeks old and i need to realize that's what newborns do but It's really discouraging when I can only calm them down for a short period of time and then they start fussing again. I feel like I'm doing something wrong. Idk. My husband is still away from me and I can't stand it. I feel so alone most the time and it's really hard being strong and not breaking down when I'm already so on edge from taking care of the girls and being so tired. I know it's not his fault and he can't help being away. He really loves being in the Army and i just want him to be happy so half the time i dont bother saying anything because I don't want to guilt trip him. I just miss him so much especially at night when the girls are both screaming and I want to cry and I don't have anyone to comfort me. He thinks I might have post partum depression. Idk if i do. I think i just need to adjust to being a mommy and suck it up.

Anyways, the girls had a doctors appointment today. The doctor just needed to make sure they weighed more than they did when they were born. They did. Alyssa is mommy's good eater. She was 6.3 at birth and now shes 7 lbs exactly. She eats so much! I can hardly pump enough to feed her let alone her sister. Savannah doesn't eat as much but she's still doing great. She weighed 5.10 at birth and now is 6.3. I'm just so happy their both doing well and gaining the appropriate amount. I was really worried because for some reason my body doesn't seem to be able to produce enough milk. Every feeding I can only make 2 ounces...which was fine at first but as their continuing to grow, I should be making more. Hopefully there is a pill or something I can get on to be able to make enough for them. Right now I'm having to give them a little bit of formula if I cant cover it. Hopefully things turn around cause i really don't want to start having to buy formula. Plus it's not as healthy anyway.

Blah anyways, the girls are sleeping and my mood is going down by the minute so I'm off to bed.

Life's been getting more real everyday. Sometimes i sill wish i was in the hospital so other people could help me take care of the girls. Reality has kicked in and i know i have to step it up a notch, which sometimes feels impossible because i'm already so sleep deprived. Blah...

The last few days have just kinda been a blur. I'm still getting adjusted to my new sleep schedule, which is no sleep at all, and being a new momma. its been so great having Trent home to help me with the twins. He's such a good dad, he loves his girls so much. :) Plus it's great to just have him here with me to snuggle up next to. :)

Yesterday was his last full day at home so we decided to get out and run some errands and go out to lunch. We went shopping and then stopped at O'Charley's for lunch. It was pretty good. Came home for a little bit then ended up going out to see When in Rome. I liked it but Trent thought it was stupid. lol Typical guy. ;)

Ugh the next few weeks are gonna be really stressful for Trent and I....well mostly for me. I'm going to be headed up to Michigan to live with his family pretty soon and i really am hesitant about going. My life is here and everything i know is here. I have nothing up there and i guess im just scared about being alone without MY family or Trent being with me. I know i'll get over it and go anyway but it's just really hard to up and leave on a short notice. Everything is new for me and im dealing with it the best way i can. I just have so much going on and so much that I have to get done, I wonder if i can even do it sometimes. blah.

Trent left today :( I woke up really sad this morning. We layed around the house with the girls til i had to take him to the airport. He's on his way back to Georgia now and i miss him already :(

Anyways, the girls are sleeping so im gonna try to catch up on my sleep. Later.

my new life....

So lets see...its been a real long time. Recap over the last several months...

Since last time, Trent and I still had our issues. I moved in with him over the summer and things were okay. I lived there til the beginning of July and then moved back home. Trent left for basic training in August. That was really hard to be without him. We wrote letters back and fourth and they werent always pleasant. Around the end of October he had a family day down in Fort Benning and i flew down there to see him for the weekend. It was strange because we werent really together and things were kinda different for us. Once i got there things seemed like they were back to normal and he told me how much he still loved me and wanted what was best for us. He proposed to me on Halloween night and I became the luckiest girl ever :D

In December, he graduated from basic training down in Georgia. His family paid to fly me out there and spend the weekend. It was great! I loved being there to see him graduate and support him in what he wanted to do. :)Over the Christmas holiday he got to come home for 3 weeks and it was nice to have him here to help me while i was so miserable being pregnant. He finally got to meet all of my family. We had Christmas at my aunt Cheryl's house. Everyone really liked him and that made me really happy. My cousins also engaged so the family all seems a little overwhelmed with us 2 getting married soon. Im so excited though!!! Trent and I are getting married on the 29th of this month! :D


Trent and I got married on the 29th of December!!! We got married at the Butler Hill stake center. His family came down from Michigan to be there for us. My mom and a whole bunch of people from my ward were there. It was nice to have people there that supported us. Bishop was reading our vows and it was really hard to look Trent in the eye because i would start crying. It was the best day of my life. I love my husband so much and I dont know what i'd do without him.
February 8th 2010- I BECAME A MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had identical girls. :D Trent and I finally decided on names lol. Savannah Grace Bailey & Alyssa Rochelle Bailey. I had to have a C section because Alyssa was breech. I was so scared i was crying while they were giving me my epidural. My mom was holding my hand the whole time. They wheeled me into the OR and i remember seeing everyone around me and i started freaking out and shaking really bad. They put me on the table and waited for the drugs to kick in and i was so tired and out of it that i ended up falling asleep while they were operating on me. I woke up when I heard them pull out Savannah. Hearing her cry made me cry happy tears of joy and relief to know that she was out and all mine! They pulled out Alyssa about 30 seconds later. They cleaned them off and showed them to me and i cried harder. I was really sad though because Trent couldnt be home during the delivery but he got to come home shortly after they were born. Once they were done with my surgery they wheeled me to recovery for about an hour and Mom and Patty were there with the girls and i finally got to hold them. I was so shaky and tired that i could barely hold them. They took the girls to the nursery to be cleaned off and then I went up to my room. The next day Trent finally got there and I was so glad to see him! It def lifted my spirits cause i was so tired and just miserable from not sleeping. They brought the girls in so Trent could finally meet his little daughters. :) It was so sweet watching him look down at them and smile. I couldnt help but tear up a little bit lol. I stayed in the hospital til Friday to recover and then got to bring my little angels home with me finally :) I cant explain how happy and in love with my family i am. I couldnt ask for anything more. :)