Its funny how your life can change so much in a few months. I think since the last time i wrote my life went into a spiraling downfall. i made a lot of stupid decisions because i just wasn't happy at all with myself or how my life was going. It was a huge mistake that i have to live with everyday. i hurt people i really care about and most of all i hurt myself. things ended with trent and i and they ended badly. even though i know everything wasn't all my fault i still killed whatever was left. And it doesn't matter anyway because he'll never admit his hand in it. i had a few breakdowns along the way but i think each one helped me in someway. so many things happend between trent and i and it killed us both. he said horrible things to me and treated me so badly i never thought i would talk to him ever again. of course knowing my luck i had so bad things happen to me and he ended up coming to see me. seeing him again made me feel such strong emotions for him and they all came out when i started crying. he told me how he still loved me and cared for me but couldnt be with me because he didn't trust me. understandable. after that things started to get better for 2 weeks and we actually got back together for a day...then it all ended again. i think we went about 2 weeks without talking til i finally showed up at his house and made him talk to me. it was awkward but i wasnt expecting anything different. things ended up getting somewhat better to the point where we could hang out again. so things got better then he ended up getting a gf and i told him i was done and i walked out of his life. I cut commuinication with him. No calls nothing. He kept emailing me though trying to get me to respond to him but i didnt and it killed me to ignore the person i love. his gf apparently cheated on him and he wanted to talk to me cause he knew i cared but i didnt answer and it broke me. even though he didnt want me around i know he needed me and i hate myself for not being there for him.

Brian got off his misson on the 18th. He's still in Ogden right now with his family but he pretty much hates me and i have no idea why. He wont tell me oreven talk to me about anything. Bob calls me almost every day to let me know how things are going. He said that Brian needed to talk to me about things and not believe anything till he hears it from me. Bob said that he is being so brainwashed by his mother and hes listening to everything she says. I hate it! whatever ill get over it. i just hate losing friends

on a better note....my brother, sister n law and my new nephew came over yesterday. It was so awesome to get to see them and i finally got to see my little nephew, Roman! He's adorable!!! He was in such a good mood the whole day...smiling and being so calm. It was nice to catch up with them. I love when they come into town.

Isn't he adorable?? I think so. It just sucks cause they live in AZ so i don't see them too often. I'm so excited to be an aunt. But yeah, i guess for right now, i just have to sit back and wait. I guess there is no point in being upset about something i have no control over. Though its alot easier said than done..... It'll all get better in time..

recap...

So starting where i left off....

The last week of school was annoying. I had so much stuff to do and not enough time to get things done. I tried to play as much as i could. Me and amanda and Kelly went to Porter park to play. It was so fun!
I got done with school and our last sunday we decided to be silly and take pictures before church. It was so much fun lol we got all pretty. :) chelsey and amanda and I were all dancing around the kitchen. I think we were just so slap happy and excited that we were going home soon!


We all went out to dinner that day after finals were over. Applebee's was the choice. After stuffing our faces, we came home and cranked up some music and started our clean checks. I hate those. I was stuck with the kitchen again but oh well. We were all dancing around the house and cleaning our assigned areas. I moved on to my room and was trying to take the bricks out from under my bed. I asked Maia to help me and in the process of trying to flip my mattress over and move the bricks, she fell and scraped her knee on the bricks. ha ha . i felt bad but couldn't help but laugh. (earlier in the semester, she was walking home and totally tripped over her feet and fell. She scraped her elbows and knee's. ) I had to take the shuttle at 2 in the morning so i didn't even bother sleeping. We stayed up and watched 27 dresses for the millionth time that semester. :) It took me about 4 hours to get to Salt Lake. My flight was at 8. I had about an hour to sit and wait but it went by pretty fast because i was so excited. My flight was about 6 hours long and i was about to kill myself and everyone around me. We stopped in New Mexico and Texas. I slept most the time though since i stayed up that night. It was the first time i'd ever really slept on a plane. When i landed Trent was there to get me and i got to see Amanda! ha, it's awesome were both from St. Louis.

So, i came home and things started to fall back into place. I got to see the Dark Knight when i came home that night. Trent took me. I was sooo excited. That movie totally rocked. I got my job back at Bandana's which worked out really well.

Mayhem Fest at the Verizon Wireless Amp. I went with the whole gang. It was awesome! but so hot...That's pretty much all that's been going on since i've been home! But...i am now an AUNT!!! I"M SO EXCITED. Baby Roman came into the world yesterday. 7lbs 3 ounces. I'll post pictures when my brother gives me some. :)

Take care all!

<3 Randi

its been forever since i posted on here...but....I COME HOME IN 5 DAYS!!!!! :D

well, got my hopes up. Trent can't come. He can, but can't. Better to save money for school. It makes me sad cause i spent money to come home for him. oh well i guess. yah and i cant stand his friends either. ugh

1 month 7 days

just another day

Sometimes we'll stumble and fail, but that's no reason to get back up and try again. We can choose our own paths because we have the brains to choose. I hope and pray that you all will choose your own correct path that Heavenly Father has in store for you. Do EVERYTHING in your power to not give into the world around you. trust me, i've learned from experience. The world does change even the most Christ like person. Dare to be different and stand for something. Besides, if you stand for nothing then you'll fall for everything. I have learned not to let other peoples comments not affect me. I am my own person and i am completly responsible for my own actions and i will accept my consequences from those actions. I'm sorry to those i have wronged, or let down an any way. Sometimes you really need to be shown what it is your doing wrong to realize you need to change. Even though you think you are being completly harmless, you are disgracing your Father in Heaven. Never say harsh words to those that critisize you. They only are trying to help you improve yourself and make you glorious in the eyes of God. Always be willing to accept your wrong and admit it. And never be afraid to change. Change can be the best gift we recieve next to agency. Don't let contention run your life. Take charge and change

whatevr

today was not a good day. aggravation was the key word. woke up with a fatty headache. didnt do anything all day. Trent was at Kenna's alllll day....so couldnt really count on him to cheer me up. I hate talking to him when he's with other people. Idk i just hate hate hate that he goes over there and talks to her all the time. it drives me crazy but whatever. im not going to make a big deal. someone that understands him and someone that he can tell his problems too..im glad. just kinda bothers me that he can hang out at some girls house for 7 hours just talking to her and he cant even do that with me. I wonder if andrew gets this aggravated about it....

doubt it.