more planning

So since my last rant...

Mother's Day was awesome =] My first Mother's Day as a momma. I loved it. Trent woke me up in the morning for breakfast. He made me eggs and bacon and pancakes. =] I loved it. Then I got to open my present which I told him not to get me anything because we're very short on money right now from all the wedding planning...but he didn't listen and got me something anyway.lol so I'm not complaining cause I opened a little box with beautiful diamond earrings in it =D I love them! We drove to Austin later that day cause I wanted to go to Once Upon a Child to get some new clothes for the girls ( there not in Newborn anymore =]) It turned out to be a nice day for me...even though it rained lol. And of course I got to talk to my momma.

We got a kitten last weekend. She's 8 weeks old and mostly black with a white belly and feet. She's absoutley adorable! We named her Bella. She's quite the stinker but I guess that's to be expected of a kitten. She stays in the bathroom at night and I came in one morning and found her, not sleeping in her soft bed, but sleeping in the trashcan on top nasty tissues and baby diapers. lol wierd cat! =]

The wedding planning is still going pretty well. I've got most everything taken care of finally. I'm getting my cake from Sarah's cafe and bakery. It's a 3 tier round buttercream cake. I'm excited. Then after calling around I found my florist. I went with Belle Fleur. So i've got all my deposits down and I'm still making payments to the photographer. It's so hard because were only getting 1,100 dollars a paycheck and were supposed to get around 3,000 for the girls. So were being way underpaid and Trent says he's taken care of it but it's been a month and it's still not fixed yet. :/ So hopefully this next paycheck will be fixed otherwise Trent has to get someone to try to fix it again. I just don't understand how freakin` hard it is to do your job. I guess there are incompetent people even in the army.

Anyways, that's about it for now. Here's another pic of the poops. =]So cute!

venting.

I love being a mom, i really do. But at the end of the day, I'm freakin` tired. Despite my frustrations, I carry out my motherly tasks without complaining. Trent leaves for work at 5:30 in the morning and I'm on my own usually til around 5 at night. So for 12 hours I deal with the crying, the diaper changing, the feeding, the holding and putting them to sleep. Now I know there is no WAY Trent could do what I do and he fully acknowledges that. However, I get frustrated when I'm gone for about 2 hours, he's already texting me wanting to know when I'm coming home. I know he can handle it, but it seems like he doesn't want to try. I've asked him soooo many times to help me out and he does when I ask, but thats just it. I don't want to have to ask! Nor do I think I should have to . Now I'm not expecting him to pick up a baby as soon as he walks in the door but instead of plopping down on the couch to get online when one of his daughters is crying he could get up and go get her. But usually no, it's me that has to do it. I take care of the girls 100% of the time. His idea of "helping" is changing a few diapers and smiling at them. He knows but seems to not realize...i'm freakin` tired!! So when he comes home and I have to ask him to do something and he gives me that irritated sigh, I'm about ready to club him with a bat! I'm constantly under pressure and it's making me so irritable . (Not to mention I think because of all this I'm having problems with my intimacy. Being so tired and irritated all the time just makes any drive I had go away. ) I know he is a good dad and he loves them very much..I can see it in the way he looks at them and I know they love him. They recognize him and smile at him when he holds them. But sometimes he gets upset and sad when he's holding them and they cry and then he gives them to me and they stop. Well yeah, there gonna do that. I'm the one that's with them all day, their used to me. He needs to spend more time with them. blah okay anyway..I'm done ranting now. I love my husband so incredibly much and I realize he has hard days too.

So in addition to all that jazz...I'm also planning my wedding :) Sometimes I really do think I'm wonder woman. As stressful as it is, I'm super excited! Yes, techinally were already married but we didn't get to have the formal ceremony like I wanted. So this time, were doing it right lol . I've got most of it already done . Only a few more things to do. It's at Windows off Washington on Aug 21. :) I can't wait.

More pictures of my little poops :)