venting.

I love being a mom, i really do. But at the end of the day, I'm freakin` tired. Despite my frustrations, I carry out my motherly tasks without complaining. Trent leaves for work at 5:30 in the morning and I'm on my own usually til around 5 at night. So for 12 hours I deal with the crying, the diaper changing, the feeding, the holding and putting them to sleep. Now I know there is no WAY Trent could do what I do and he fully acknowledges that. However, I get frustrated when I'm gone for about 2 hours, he's already texting me wanting to know when I'm coming home. I know he can handle it, but it seems like he doesn't want to try. I've asked him soooo many times to help me out and he does when I ask, but thats just it. I don't want to have to ask! Nor do I think I should have to . Now I'm not expecting him to pick up a baby as soon as he walks in the door but instead of plopping down on the couch to get online when one of his daughters is crying he could get up and go get her. But usually no, it's me that has to do it. I take care of the girls 100% of the time. His idea of "helping" is changing a few diapers and smiling at them. He knows but seems to not realize...i'm freakin` tired!! So when he comes home and I have to ask him to do something and he gives me that irritated sigh, I'm about ready to club him with a bat! I'm constantly under pressure and it's making me so irritable . (Not to mention I think because of all this I'm having problems with my intimacy. Being so tired and irritated all the time just makes any drive I had go away. ) I know he is a good dad and he loves them very much..I can see it in the way he looks at them and I know they love him. They recognize him and smile at him when he holds them. But sometimes he gets upset and sad when he's holding them and they cry and then he gives them to me and they stop. Well yeah, there gonna do that. I'm the one that's with them all day, their used to me. He needs to spend more time with them. blah okay anyway..I'm done ranting now. I love my husband so incredibly much and I realize he has hard days too.

So in addition to all that jazz...I'm also planning my wedding :) Sometimes I really do think I'm wonder woman. As stressful as it is, I'm super excited! Yes, techinally were already married but we didn't get to have the formal ceremony like I wanted. So this time, were doing it right lol . I've got most of it already done . Only a few more things to do. It's at Windows off Washington on Aug 21. :) I can't wait.

More pictures of my little poops :)