funny pictures...

haha really?



so i was bored and kinda blah so i decided to post funny pictures. I got a few laughs out of them. :) better day today. Jenny came over so it was nice to have human interaction besides my mom. Anyways, I'm exhausted and the girls are sleeping so i'm off to bed.

Stressed

so im in a horrible mood today.

It's probably a mix of things. I don't think I've ever been this sleep deprived in my life. Granted, i didn't expect anything different with twins but i seriously feel like I'm going to collapse. All the girls do is cry and I know their only 2 weeks old and i need to realize that's what newborns do but It's really discouraging when I can only calm them down for a short period of time and then they start fussing again. I feel like I'm doing something wrong. Idk. My husband is still away from me and I can't stand it. I feel so alone most the time and it's really hard being strong and not breaking down when I'm already so on edge from taking care of the girls and being so tired. I know it's not his fault and he can't help being away. He really loves being in the Army and i just want him to be happy so half the time i dont bother saying anything because I don't want to guilt trip him. I just miss him so much especially at night when the girls are both screaming and I want to cry and I don't have anyone to comfort me. He thinks I might have post partum depression. Idk if i do. I think i just need to adjust to being a mommy and suck it up.

Anyways, the girls had a doctors appointment today. The doctor just needed to make sure they weighed more than they did when they were born. They did. Alyssa is mommy's good eater. She was 6.3 at birth and now shes 7 lbs exactly. She eats so much! I can hardly pump enough to feed her let alone her sister. Savannah doesn't eat as much but she's still doing great. She weighed 5.10 at birth and now is 6.3. I'm just so happy their both doing well and gaining the appropriate amount. I was really worried because for some reason my body doesn't seem to be able to produce enough milk. Every feeding I can only make 2 ounces...which was fine at first but as their continuing to grow, I should be making more. Hopefully there is a pill or something I can get on to be able to make enough for them. Right now I'm having to give them a little bit of formula if I cant cover it. Hopefully things turn around cause i really don't want to start having to buy formula. Plus it's not as healthy anyway.

Blah anyways, the girls are sleeping and my mood is going down by the minute so I'm off to bed.

Life's been getting more real everyday. Sometimes i sill wish i was in the hospital so other people could help me take care of the girls. Reality has kicked in and i know i have to step it up a notch, which sometimes feels impossible because i'm already so sleep deprived. Blah...

The last few days have just kinda been a blur. I'm still getting adjusted to my new sleep schedule, which is no sleep at all, and being a new momma. its been so great having Trent home to help me with the twins. He's such a good dad, he loves his girls so much. :) Plus it's great to just have him here with me to snuggle up next to. :)

Yesterday was his last full day at home so we decided to get out and run some errands and go out to lunch. We went shopping and then stopped at O'Charley's for lunch. It was pretty good. Came home for a little bit then ended up going out to see When in Rome. I liked it but Trent thought it was stupid. lol Typical guy. ;)

Ugh the next few weeks are gonna be really stressful for Trent and I....well mostly for me. I'm going to be headed up to Michigan to live with his family pretty soon and i really am hesitant about going. My life is here and everything i know is here. I have nothing up there and i guess im just scared about being alone without MY family or Trent being with me. I know i'll get over it and go anyway but it's just really hard to up and leave on a short notice. Everything is new for me and im dealing with it the best way i can. I just have so much going on and so much that I have to get done, I wonder if i can even do it sometimes. blah.

Trent left today :( I woke up really sad this morning. We layed around the house with the girls til i had to take him to the airport. He's on his way back to Georgia now and i miss him already :(

Anyways, the girls are sleeping so im gonna try to catch up on my sleep. Later.

my new life....

So lets see...its been a real long time. Recap over the last several months...

Since last time, Trent and I still had our issues. I moved in with him over the summer and things were okay. I lived there til the beginning of July and then moved back home. Trent left for basic training in August. That was really hard to be without him. We wrote letters back and fourth and they werent always pleasant. Around the end of October he had a family day down in Fort Benning and i flew down there to see him for the weekend. It was strange because we werent really together and things were kinda different for us. Once i got there things seemed like they were back to normal and he told me how much he still loved me and wanted what was best for us. He proposed to me on Halloween night and I became the luckiest girl ever :D

In December, he graduated from basic training down in Georgia. His family paid to fly me out there and spend the weekend. It was great! I loved being there to see him graduate and support him in what he wanted to do. :)Over the Christmas holiday he got to come home for 3 weeks and it was nice to have him here to help me while i was so miserable being pregnant. He finally got to meet all of my family. We had Christmas at my aunt Cheryl's house. Everyone really liked him and that made me really happy. My cousins also engaged so the family all seems a little overwhelmed with us 2 getting married soon. Im so excited though!!! Trent and I are getting married on the 29th of this month! :D


Trent and I got married on the 29th of December!!! We got married at the Butler Hill stake center. His family came down from Michigan to be there for us. My mom and a whole bunch of people from my ward were there. It was nice to have people there that supported us. Bishop was reading our vows and it was really hard to look Trent in the eye because i would start crying. It was the best day of my life. I love my husband so much and I dont know what i'd do without him.
February 8th 2010- I BECAME A MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had identical girls. :D Trent and I finally decided on names lol. Savannah Grace Bailey & Alyssa Rochelle Bailey. I had to have a C section because Alyssa was breech. I was so scared i was crying while they were giving me my epidural. My mom was holding my hand the whole time. They wheeled me into the OR and i remember seeing everyone around me and i started freaking out and shaking really bad. They put me on the table and waited for the drugs to kick in and i was so tired and out of it that i ended up falling asleep while they were operating on me. I woke up when I heard them pull out Savannah. Hearing her cry made me cry happy tears of joy and relief to know that she was out and all mine! They pulled out Alyssa about 30 seconds later. They cleaned them off and showed them to me and i cried harder. I was really sad though because Trent couldnt be home during the delivery but he got to come home shortly after they were born. Once they were done with my surgery they wheeled me to recovery for about an hour and Mom and Patty were there with the girls and i finally got to hold them. I was so shaky and tired that i could barely hold them. They took the girls to the nursery to be cleaned off and then I went up to my room. The next day Trent finally got there and I was so glad to see him! It def lifted my spirits cause i was so tired and just miserable from not sleeping. They brought the girls in so Trent could finally meet his little daughters. :) It was so sweet watching him look down at them and smile. I couldnt help but tear up a little bit lol. I stayed in the hospital til Friday to recover and then got to bring my little angels home with me finally :) I cant explain how happy and in love with my family i am. I couldnt ask for anything more. :)